How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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