I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'm always down for nudity.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
