well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
