Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
