I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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