Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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