last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
NoShamevember. You game?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
