My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I don't think brook has ever known best
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
my liver is dry heaving
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
