she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
