he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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