I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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