I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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