Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
