I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
