i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
