I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
