i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
porn star boner night. come get it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
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