I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
