i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
