College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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