is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
