i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
