I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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