I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
