i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
