i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
