never play flip cup with pint glasses
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he fucked my hip out of place.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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