You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
