It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
