I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
