is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
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