My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
