we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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