I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
