I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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