i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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