it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
