Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
