HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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