Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
