You're so nebulous sometimes
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
