I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
