Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
