Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
