I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
