she is the kim kardashian of front butts
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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