Quick, to the slutcave!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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