Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
