drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
