You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
