Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
